Fat Girls Are Funnier

When getting dressed I like to dress to make me look pregnant, empire dresses, maternity tops, stretch pants, because I  just don't get why girls get so upset about being mistaken for a prego. The alternative is that the person just thinks you're fat. Being prego however means that you are in for a wealth of perks, compliments about your glow, how good you look etc. The odds are that the person who is inquiring about your pregnancy is one step away from giving you their seat on the subway, so fat ladies lets be real, we are winded- take the seat. Basically as fatties we have two options- we are lazy, overeaters OR we are giving the gift of life, frankly I know what I'm choosing